Strange Dreams: Body Work

Do people wear clothes?  Or do clothes wear people?  I had another wacky dream last night and got some answers to these questions.  I’ve kinda always thought that real people wear real clothes (like off-the-rack type clothes) and that the haute couture type clothes wear people.  My dream explored anorexic models, clothes as art, and runways.

Clothes as art are designed by true artists, but not necessarily to complement bodies.  Our perception of what humans should look like is so out of kilter that models have restructured their bodies to unreal proportions so these clothes can wear them:  young women with the bodies of young boys, women with butts so large they can balance champagne glasses atop them, women with breasts so large they look like they’ll topple over, both men and women with so much plastic surgery they’re not recognizable except by DNA testing.  Hairstyles from which real birds fly, helmet hair, colors that don’t occur in nature anywhere.  Makeup that magnifies, geometricizes, and creates skin color unknown to man.

The dream provided me with a viable solution to some of these problems.  I propose society approves the use of robot models for designer clothing.  These robots could be the women’s size zero or two, or whatever ridiculous negative the clothes are designed for.  They could be made of the same materials as those real-life-like baby dolls with soft skin and angelic,but angry-looking, faces.  They could wear various wigs to accent the designer clothes and could wear whatever makeup the artist chooses.  They would be scrubbable and pose-able.  They’d be seven feet tall with a twenty-inch waist, and legs the length of three-quarters of their total body height.  They’d float down the runway, one foot exactly in front of the other, and wouldn’t trip or fall in footwear that isn’t shoes.  They could be remotely controlled from the audience to perform at any moment to highlight the designer’s vision.  Best of all, they wouldn’t ever have the need to eat.

The rest of us could then be free to be human, to have cellulite, and to eat pie without any guilt whatsoever.  We could happily continue to shop for clothes at Target, Kohl’s, Macy’s, Ross, and all the other wonderful places where we can buy clothes in which we can sit, run, drive, and enjoy ourselves.

Published in: on November 21, 2014 at 7:31 pm  Leave a Comment  
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